I am Fortunate; I am a Reader

I am fortunate.  I had opportunities.  I became a reader for life.

Hamlet equivocated, “Words, words, words…”.  Words fascinated me.   All around me, there were details.  I needed words to express them and to store them in memory.  Curiosity overcame me.  I needed words to express what I discovered.  Printed words opened a repository of words.  Here I found my treasure.

My childhood till the seventh year of my life was spent in a polyglot world.  We lived in Mangalore.   At home, we spoke Malayalam.  To my dismay, when I started schools at five years of age, the medium of instruction was Karnataka.   I was not aware that I would be immersed in an unknown language.  In the Catholic church, the payers and sermon were in Konkini. My older sisters often spoke in English which they learned in higher grades. My Mother spoke to the domestic help in Thulu.   Words surrounded me.

My family moved to Kandassankadavu, my parents’ hometown.  Everyone spoke Malayalam.  Students started English in fifth grade and Hindi in sixth grade.  Kandassankadavu is a rural community situated ten miles west of Thrissur, the closest city.

I grew up listening to stories.  I had four older sisters. Annie and Baby were avid readers.  There were five sisters and one brother.  When the young ones were sick, the older sisters were responsible for entertaining them. Most of the time, it was by telling stories.  Annie and Baby took over this job.  They were both great storytellers.  I was exposed to fairy tales, Arabian Nights tales,  Pancha Tanthra fables, Aesop’s Fables, Bible stories and many others.   Cinderella, Snow White and Seven Dwarfs, Little Red Riding Hood, The Three Bears, Hansel and Gretel,  Shaharazad, Ali Baba, Sinbad, Aladdin and others became alive.  They also read stories to us.  They showed us comics and explained the dialogues.   Thus I came to know Phantom, Mandrake the Magician, Flash Gordon, Br’er Rabbit , Curly Vee, and so many others who came into my world.   I became impatient about waiting for someone to read stories and tell stories.  It became imperative that I read.  The change in medium of instruction did not deter me.   

Unlike the other households in our village, my home had various reading materials.  There were English and Malayalam dailies, Reader’s Digest, Mathrubhumi weekly, and Catholic publications such as Mary Vijayam Sathya Deepam, Amma, and Catholic Digest.  Astonishingly, the village had a Reading Club.  It subscribed to several periodicals and magazines in both English and Malayalam.   The Hindu, The Mail, and The Indian Express were the regular dailies in our house along with Mathrubhumi, Deepika and Malayala Manorama.This was wealth indeed.  Many American and Indian publications entered this Club’s collection.  It had hired a courier to take four publications to the houses of the members on Mondays and Thursdays.  Thus, a family could read eight periodicals every week.  It was a real hustle to get your hands on one when there were more than one reader.  Publications such as Life, Today, Span, Illustrated Weekly of India, Kala Koumudi, Jana Yugam, Shankar’s Weekly, etc. became familiar friends.  Only later I realized that not many of my contemporaries had this privilege.

Mathrubhumi weekly was a veritable source of all levels of Malayalam writings and translations of classics from other Indian languages and foreign languages. In my younger days,  I read “Adventures of Tom Sawyer”, “Treasure Island”, “Horrors of Dracula”, “Sherlock Holmes” stories, etc. In Malayalam.  

In sixth grade, I read my first English book, “Adventures of Robin Hood”.  After that, there was no stopping me.  Jane Austen, Dickens , Mark Twain and others became very familiar. I asked my sister’s advice about what books to read.  There was a copy of Jane Austin’s “Emma” in the house.  I read it in eighth grade.  It was a struggle.  But I wanted to leave a mark on my reading life.  I found many books left over by older family members.  

I was lucky that my school was my neighbor.  The Sisters of the Carmelite Congregation ran the school.  They were very friendly.  The Headmistress, Sr. Corsina, encouraged my reading and used to lend me the new book arrivals.

The Kerala syllabus of those days included many English, Malayalam and Hindi classics in prose and poetry whether in school or college.  In the younger grades, the English books were abridged to make it easier for younger readers.  So the language retained the purity unlike the simplified versions.  Thus I was in the company of Shakespeare, Austen, Dickens, Wordsworth, Tennyson, Keats, Swift, Shelley, Coleridge, Stevenson, Mark Twain and Milton to name a few. College curricula in those days emphasized Humanities.

College opened the door wider.  Even though I majored in Mathematics, my college did not offer much in graduate studies.  I elected English Literature and my reading widened.  Studying became a hobby. Later, my marriage took me to the USA.  I managed another post graduate degree in English.  The public libraries in the USA are its best feature. I thrived I in reading.

My life can be put in a nutshell as the product of reading.

Not Yet

It is not yet time for “Good Bye”

When I have not fully loved and lived

With every fiber of my being stretched,

Thinking every thought

And feeling every emotion to the utmost.

Let me not step into the wintry days

Sans life and sans color.

I yearned my heart to leap

At every glance, at every touch;

I craved the glow of love

To envelope me snuggly

To feel the warmth of love.

“Wait”, my heart spoke

And I held my breath

Before the death knell of “Good Bye”

Drowned me for ever.

Winter Transience

Latticed flakes, feather light,

Floated like eider down

And lightly lingered

Upon eyelashes aflutter,

Cheeks aglow and nosetips in freeze.

Amid the snowy florets

In the winter hush,

My footfalls muffled

In the downy pavement.

I walked with upturned face

Where crystalline blooms,

In whispering touches,

Winked and vanished.

In candy sugar ice,

The twigs and branches

Gleamed in fairy luster

In the charmed wood

Where the pathway crossed.

Winter’s brittle splendor,

In ethereal sheen,

Wafted me to enchantment

Aloft myriad graces

Into intimate magic, and,

Alas, a world of transience.

Summer Girls

Summer slipped in

Taking stealthy steps

Lagging behind nippy May

Which cool-caressed cheeks.

The sun began to linger

Making days longer

And humid air

Pearl-beaded foreheads.

The light-washed scenes

Brought warm-colored thoughts!

What a joy it was

To watch summer girls

Waltzing in

To parks and picnics

In their floral-print dresses,

Wafting their flutter sleeves,

And dripping sunlight in their smiles.

The ubiquitous bird-watchers

Stood by gleefully,

Sighing in deep satisfaction

While the elderly reminisced

About the bygone summers

Of spent youths.

My Stout Heart

Oh, my heart

Was so fragile

And brittle like crystal.

So easily broken

By an unkind word

Or cruel gesture

That could scratch

Or even crack!

I hid them.

And wore Teflon

For the world to see

An unscathed mien.

But deep within my tender heart

I felt the wounds.

Yet, covered they were

From probing eyes

Concealing all the hurts

Showing to all the world

An unbroken facade.

Time, in its inimical fashion,

Passed unhindered,

Not seeking palliatives.

The heart lived-

Albeit stitched  and patched-

Unlike the crystal

Surviving as a whole

Surviving sturdily 

The buffets of time,

The thorns of relations

And the cruel ills of society,

Declaring to the world,

“I have lived

And have grown stout”.

After Freeze

Cold bit my fingers

In the flurry

As I scraped ice

From windshield

And windows.

I blew hot breath

Into frozen fingers.

But it was pain

That pricked through tips

As blood defrosted

And began to flow

As feelings came alive

Bringing back memories

Of excruciating life

As blood awakened

And channelled through limbs.

Dragonfly

The summer was balmy

And the air hung like Indian muslin.

A somnolent lethargy overtook me

As I lay in my hammock

By the pond, hidden among weeds,

Whose surface shone speckled

By water’s sheen breaking through pondscum.

A sudden stir in the air above pond,

A glimmer of irridiscent colors!

A dragonfly was flitting upon the pond,

Transparent wings flashing colors

From metallic patches-

Red, brown, yellow, blue .

Helicoptering above, it lit

Upon a lily pad, compound eyes swirling

Its encircling globular vision searching, 

A predator seeking prey.

But Fate decrees its tragic moments.

The unwary dragonfly foolishly forgot

The predator in the shallows.

A sudden splash and whiplike motion!

A bullfrog leapt up mouth opening,

Flicking its long and sticky tongue out,

And captured the hapless dragonfly.

Thus marked the end

Of a predator by a predator.

My Bubble Life

Bubbles shimmer

And my life glints;

Some float in quickly,

Wink and blink in a trice.

Plain and nondescript,

They are the dull routines

Of my mundane life.

Some sparkle green

And waft towards me

As time and seasons passed.

My heart leaps up

At sprightly Springs

In refreshing hues,

At lush Summers

Fully blossomed,

At mellow Autumns

In ripe fruition,

And at pristine Winters,

At once brilliant and gray,

Burying memories.

But my soul opens

At the rainbow-splattered bubbles

Dancing towards me.

I try to snatch these-

My hopes and dreams.

But many dart away

Out of my grasp!

But I am rife with hope

To snare and trap

My rainbow bubbles

Of  fulfilled dreams.